Bleed Red
by clarawithfitzsimmonsin221b
Summary: Jemma Simmons has suffered quite a lot since she and Fitz jumped on the Bus with Coulson's team, but nothing has struck at her quite like this. She and Fitz have a few things to talk out after their time underwater in the escape pod, especially after his final good-bye. How can she bear to lose him just when they were figuring each other out? (title references a Ronnie Dunn song)


"_How could you ask me to do that? You're my best friend in the world!"_

"_Yeah, you're more than that Jemma. But I couldn't find the courage to tell you. So please…let me show you." She threw her arms around him, tears obscuring her vision._

"_Shh, it's okay."_

"_No, no!" She begged him with all that she had left in her. He shoved the oxygen mask into her hand and went to hit the power button._

"_NO!" She screamed. Fitz didn't move his eyes from her face and she could finally see all the love that had always been there, love for her. Then he hit the button and everything went black._

* * *

Jemma awoke with a jolt. Her heart was racing and she was covered in cold sweat. Her neck had a crick in it and her back hurt from falling asleep in the wooden chair that she was sitting in. She gently twisted her neck to the side and gave a little stretch. After she had exhausted every possible reason not to, she turned her gaze to the bed in the room; and more importantly, the person in it. Fitz looked peaceful enough to be sleeping. His curls had dried in a completely unruly state but no one had bothered to comb them out. Jemma inched her chair forward and carefully began running her fingers through his hair. _He hates it when his hair is all tangled, _she thought, justifying her actions to herself. She ignored the fact that if Fitz were really sleeping, he would have woken up the minute that she did. It was funny how that worked, as if he was subconsciously tied to her. _I wonder why I never noticed that before. _She swallowed back a lump of tears and tried-unsuccessfully-to keep her mind from wandering back to the final moments of consciousness she had had with her best friend. She hadn't realized what he was saying at first, when he had pushed that makeshift oxygen mask into her hands and explained what the plan was. She hadn't known that he was prepared to die. _I've done the math. _That was what he said. Like it was a simple calculation that decided which of them would live and which would die. Like a little fact like she was the better swimmer determined who would stop breathing and who would go on. She remembered the look in his eyes, the belief that she would really be okay going through the world without him. As if she could _ever _make it through a day without him right there with her. Oh_ Fitz, _she thought, looking down at his little face, finally giving in to the tears that had been threatening. As they raced down her cheeks she curled up next to Fitz, careful not to jostle him. She wrapped her arms gently around his neck and laid her head against his shoulder. She knew that she wasn't really supposed to be up on the bed, but hell would freeze over before they would be able to pull her off. _Come back Fitz, _she pleaded silently, listening to the faint beeping coming from his heart monitor. Jemma had never realized how much she depended on having Fitz at her side. He was an anchor; the one thing she could always count on to be constant in her life. Now she was just..._lost, _she told herself, _you're lost without Fitz. _She squeezed her eyes shut tightly, trying in vain to stem the flow of tears. _I'm lost without my everything._

* * *

Skye stood just outside the door to Fitz's room, her hand hovering over the handle. She had intended to go in there and force Simmons to go to sleep, but looking through the window, Skye knew that she wasn't going to disturb her friend tonight. She watched the two scientists for only a moment more, then turned around and left them to the nightmare they were living.

* * *

Jemma didn't keep track of how long she lay curled up next to Fitz, but she stayed until her eyes had dried completely. She whispered stories in his ear, reminding him of all the moments they had shared at the Academy, and then later at SciOps. She told him about monkeys, reciting back all the facts he had ever mentioned to her. _You probably thought I didn't care, that I wasn't even listening, _she said softly, _but I always did, I still do, and I always will Fitz. _She told him about how they had been rescued by Nick Fury-_you should have seen it Fitz, I thought for sure we were goners when we broke the surface and I saw a dead man pulling us out_-and how she couldn't believe Coulson was the new Director-_do you think he'll let us try that explosive dendrotoxin we diagrammed up last year that Professor Weaver vetoed? _She told him that they had taken Ward in, that Garrett was dead, and that Ace was back with his mom. She spoke until her voice was hoarse, and then she told him more. She scolded him, saying that he was going to worry his parents to no end, and her parents to boot. She fretted over their professors and friends at the Academy, worrying for their safety and hoping they were alive-_but not at the cost of their loyalty, of course, _she said, knowing that both of them would prefer death for their friends before forced, or voluntary, service to Hydra. She shuddered at the morbid thought; she never expected to have to choose between two such had been a long time since Jemma talked this much, even to Fitz, but there was something calming about it. _I wonder if he feels it too, subconsciously, _she wondered, looking down at Fitz's closed eyes. All the wrinkles of worry that had creased his face in the past weeks had melted away, leaving behind the face that she knew so well, the one that had spent countless hours beside her in the lab. _I'd like to think that he knows I'm here, _Jemma smiled, then winced as a new thought slashed through her mind. _He probably doesn't. After all, how many times have you been by his side lately? _New tears pooled in her eyes and she felt herself shaking with renewed pain.

"I'm so sorry Fitz," she whispered, "so, so sorry." She fell silent and drifted off to sleep, tears falling and curled close to the one that she knew now was her everything.


End file.
